Why I didn't go to Gatsby's funeral

When i found out the Gatsby had been killed, I had a terrible feeling in my stomach. For some reason I had a strange inkling that I had something to do with his death, even if I wasn't there or ever talked to George in my life. Once the word got around to me that he was dead, my heat died a little. I loved him so much, and for him to be gone from my life forever is such a strange and very saddening thing to experience. At first, i thought i was going to go to the funeral, but then i realized that Gatsby was gone from my life forever, and it would only make Tom more upset with me if i went. I thought that it was time to focus on Tom completely, because he is the only man left in my life right now. If Tom did not want to go then i would not go, which he did not want to. I realized that if i went behind Tom's back, and he found out, that i would be in so much trouble with him. I think it is time that i make Tom happy, and put him first instead of myself. Therefore, i decided that going to Gatsby's funeral would only cause more pain than good and decided it was better for everyone if I just let Gatsby's close friends attend the funeral, and not the women who he loved, who also had been cheating on her husband with him.